Bakit Labis Kitang Mahal (Why Do I Love You So)
by Ginnie
Summary: *A/N up* rated R for suggestive phrases... unacknowledged love on draco's part, he doesn't want to accept that he's in love... I'm gonna kill isys for not reviewing because of her stupid ailment and my just-as-stupid cousin...
1. Default Chapter

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Disclaimers:   
=> Harry Potter - not mine. J.K. Rowling's.   
=> Song - Lea Salonga's. I'm not a songwriter.   
=> Disclaimer style - Rhygell's. Hehehehe... 

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** Mula nang makilala ka, aking mahal (From the moment I met you, my love)   
Hindi ako mapalagay sa kaiisip ko sa'yo (I couldn't help but think of you) **

_ The Boy Who Lived. _   
The words resound in my mind, as clearly as they did when I first heard them.   
I look over at him, a triumphant smile on my face. He and the Weasel had done something or other that cost them 20 points from Gryffindor. _ Hah. Serves him right for being so dumb, annoying, special, kind, friendly, good-looking --_   
Whoa. Back up the train of thought. Where had _that_ come from?   
I bury my head in my hands. Since that day... I had easily recognized him the minute he walked through the doors of Madam Malkin's shop, though I decided not to let on that I knew who he was -- even though he most likely didn't know who _he_ was. Since then, I couldn't stop thinking about him -- the signs of loneliness in his eyes, the insecurity and curiousity boiling inside him evident in the way he gazed about, and the blatant ignorance of our world easily distinguishable in his voice.   
I can't believe it. Years of seclusion, of being taught not to feel or care, and yet...   
I felt sorry for him.   
_Damn you, Potter. Six years and later... _ [A/N: *grabs a microphone* "...you're still on my mind..." *dodges tomatoes and lifts head long enough to catch a solitary rose*]   
"Mr. Malfoy, is there something you'd like to share with the rest of the class?"   
That oversized dingbat of a professor was hovering infront of my desk. I look up, an innocent smile on my face. "No, professor. Nothing at all."   
Snape seems satisfied with my response. "Don't let me catch you not paying attention again. It is most unsuitable for a Slytherin," he said before stalking back to the front of the room, his slick, oily hair shining in whatever little light there was in the dungeon. I swear, he probably slops axle grease on that mop of hair every morning.   
I look at Potter again, and my head begins to hurt as if I had his scar.   
_ Curse you, Potter. Fuck your sorry little ass. _

** Lagi na lang ikaw ang alaala ko (My every thought is of you)   
Kahit nasaan ka man, larawan mo'y natatanaw (Wherever you may be, it's your picture I see) **

_ Darn it. Darn it all. _ [A/N: Familiar? When AXN Asia aired Fushigi Yuugi dubbed in English, this expression ranked highest on the list of Suboshi's most often heard expressions -- after "Lady Yui!", that is. Hehehehe...]   
I'm hallucinating. I know perfectly well that Potter's somewhere in his little dormitory, yet everywhere I go, I see him. Damn. _DAMN._   
That afternoon found me looking forward to Care of Magical Creatures, even though I'd much rather prefer to stay away from Potter, Weasel, the Mudblood, and their oaf friend Hagrid.   
Why? 

** Maging sa pagtulog ay panaginip ka (Even my dreams are about you)   
Pagkat ang nais ko sana kapiling ka sa tuwina (For my wish is to be with you forever) **

I sit by the window, not daring to sleep, for fear of dreaming -- of seeing images that would remain in my mind when I wake up and stand out as vividly as the color of the sky, and feelings and emotions that felt as real as if they were.   
I know, I know. It's unbecoming of a ]Malfoy to be afraid of anything, but...well, I'm still a kid -- at times. I'm entitled to fear, aren't I?   
I shift uneasily, the dream of yesterday night playing, unwanted yet unstoppable, in my mind. 

_ It was raining. I was out in the cold, with nothing but my wet robes to shield me from the continuous onslaught of the rain. Unbelievably, I didn't have my wand with me. How much more stupid could I get?   
A flash of lightning illuminated the sky, answering my unvoiced question. Wizard or not, I should be smart enough to stay somewhere that could protect me from the unforeseen strikes of lightning.   
I didn't even know what I was doing out there in the first place. Hell, my immune system may be strong, but still...   
I ran as fast as I could across the vast,e mpty space, looking for something -- anything -- that could shelter me until the downpour ceased.   
I must have run miles in what felt like days to me; I was so weary.   
I finally saw a cave. It would do. Desperately, I dashed for its welcoming entrance, using every last reserve of stamina that I had and calling upon every ounce of energy left in me.   
As I neared the entrance, adrenaline coursed through my body, urging me to go faster over the last few meters.   
When I reached the aperture, there was no sign of anyone or anything else. Well duh, I AM the only dumb creature to be out in this kind of weather.   
I was tired. I lay down on the ground of the cave, weariness breaking over me like a glorious waterfall. Sleep stole me over, and I didn't have the strength or the will to fight it...   
***   
I don't know when I awoke, but I know why.   
The moment I opened my eyes, my mind dimly registered a crackling sound, and flickering lights on the cave walls. Slowly, I attempted to stand up, but my body was so sore. Must have been my sleeping conditions. For crying out loud...   
Funny. I would have thought it'd be much colder. The fall of rain outside was still audible, so apparently the rain hadn't stopped yet.   
I remembered that I fell asleep with my wet robes clinging to my body. I ran my hand over myself... and felt a relatively dry material. I frowned, then felt underneath it. I was...   
Well... I was half-naked.   
Numbly, my mind recalled that I had a shirt on under my robes.   
What?! Then... if I was asleep, who...   
I sat bolt upright, the reckless motion sending spasms of pain surging through every part of my body.   
My sudden movement startled another being in the cave. So... I'm not alone here...   
The fire -- I finally realized that a fire was the cause of the crackling noise and wavering lights -- provided me with only enough light to see a smile on a face half-hidden in shadow, and to identify that it was a male.   
The figure neared, and knelt down beside me. A soft and lightly callused hand reaced out and gently brushed hair off my forehead, his touch as light as a feather.   
"Draco... you're all right," he whispered, before pullng me into a hug against his bare chest.   
That voice... I've heard it somewhere before.   
"I'm so glad," the person murmured into my hair. He pulled away, and looked me in the eye.   
I recognized him at last. "Potter?" I muttered weakly. "How the hell...?"   
Emerald eyes shining with relief, he shrugged carelessly. "Who cares? The only thing that matters is that you're okay."   
He gently held my chin, and lifted my face up to look at him. I felt myself giving in to his embrace. Our foreheads touched... just a little more, and..._

I wake up, only to find the sun shining girectly into my line of vision. _ Damn. Remembering that dream and falling asleep was NOT part of the master plan._   
How did that song go? _ A dream is a wish your heart makes when you're fast asleep..._   
The writer must have been delirious when he thought up that line.   
_It could be possible, you know._   
That voice again. The one that always told me that I was falling in love with my biggest rival. The one that constantly repeated that animosity is just a cover-up for infatuation.   
Usually, I ignored it.   
This time, though, I don't know why I didn't. 

** Ano bang nakita ng puso kong ito sa'yo (What did this heart of mine see in you)   
Kapag ika'y kasama, anong ligaya ko sinta (Whenever I'm with you, I feel an inexplicable happiness) **

There's nothing at all.   
There's nothing in him that I see worthy of a Malfoy's attention.   
He's not intelligent, handsome, or anything --   
_ Ah, but you did say quite a lot of good things about him just a few days back, didn't you?_ The voice piped up again.   
I tug at my hair. _ Shut up! Nobody cares! _   
A cruel laughter in my mind mocks me. _ Oh no, no, no... That's where you're very, very wrong.   
Malfoys are never wrong! _ I throw myself onto my bed. Thank heavens it was a weekend. I just can't possibly go to class looking like this.   
_ So, you're admitting that what you said in Potions was true?   
Call it temporary insanity!   
So tell me, Draco, why don't you want to go attend classes in this state?   
Nothing you should know!   
Remember who you're talking to, dear boy. I know very well that you don't want to go like this because you think Harry will laugh about you.   
It's POTTER. If you're in my mind, you should know the proper terms.   
Haha... your subconsciously calling him Harry already.   
No, I'm not! _ I stand up, and grabbed my towel. Maybe a hot soak will help me.   
_ With what?   
Shut up! _

** Bakit labis kitang mahal (Why do I love you so)   
Yakap mo'y di ko malimutan (I can't forget your embrace) **

The water runs over me. I look down at myself, and shiver as I remember what I had seen last night.   
A vague image flashes before my eyes, and my body trembles with unfamiliar sensations as I remember his hands running up and down my chest...   
I shake my head, my attempts to clear my mind all in vain.   
"Why?" I practically cry out. "Why does he make me feel like this?"   
I slide down against the wall, and hug my knees to my chest. Again, pleasure hits me like a tidal wave as the dream plays in my mind...   
_ Admit it. You want him. _

** Bakit labis kitang mahal (Why do I love you so)   
Sumpa man, iniibig kita (No matter what, I am promising my love) ** [A/N: I couldn't translate this line properly!! *bursts into tears and collapses over keyboard* Anyway, "Iniibig kita" means "I am loving you", and "Sumpa man" means "I promise", if literally translated. Put them together... the line doesn't sound so flowery and romantic anymore...] 

Fine. I admit it. I have a thing for him...   
_ Finally! Now, doesn't that feel so much better, getting that off your chest? _   
I leave the showers, that voice persistenly harping in my ear. I get images of a cupid dancing around in the air, having hit his target right on the bull's eye.   
Having decided to take a walk, I hurriedly dress and step out of the common room.   
I let my subconscious lead me, lost in thought and drowning in visions.   
When I finally lift my head up -- I had been walking with my head down -- I notice that my feet had led me to the Quidditch pitch. Curious, I duck into the stands, the leather covering hiding me.   
_ So... came to watch their practice?   
Well, I didn't really intend to... Isn't it obvious, though? _   
I watch as he zooms across the field, a look of concentration on his face. On his way back, he looks down momentarily... and spots me.   
For a split second, he holds my gaze, before looking back up to catch the Snitch.   
I don't know why, but... when he looked at me, I was... so deliriously happy.   
_ Or maybe I do... _   
I leave, but not before looking back up at him, to see him holding tightly onto a struggling golden object held fast in his hand.   
The look of triumph on his face... I've seen it so many times, but it never fails to "amaze" me. Somehow, he always manages to show every amount of emotion he feels in his eyes, but nothing compares to his dazzling smile.   
How I envy him.   
_ Envy? I don't think so. You love him, don't you? _   
I only smile in reply to my unseen speaker. 

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A/N:   
==> I'm sorry if the song doesn't sound so poetic in English... The lyrics were literally translated so as to help you understand the song better. It really is a beautiful song, believe me. Those who can speak Filipino, you know it is!!! Translating a beautiful song into English without making it sound weird is just not up my alley! (okay, I think I used the wrong idioms...)   
==> Hehehehe... Emeblok!!! Jade rulez!!! Okay, so this isn't related to the story, but if Isys or Gellie happened to come across it... *shrugs* *crackers pop behind in celebration of I-Jade being better than I-Emerald, courtesy of author*   
==> What could I do? Although I really think that section Jade is way better than Emerald, the stone shines... Jade has a rather dull green color... *ducks pitchfork thrown by Isys*   
*leaves computer momentarily to run away from Gellie* 

Hehehe... Bye! Sorry for boring you!! *leaves computer again* 

P.S. - This is my first D/H fic, so be nice and don't flame me!! Hehehehehehe...   
*Isys and Gellie finally catch up...* 


	2. Author's Notes!!

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Me need to talk to people!!! Okay, so this is stupid, but the reviewers of my story... *sniff* like Isys said in her review of one of Rhygell's fics, "too lazy to log-in"...   
This part is Isys inspired... hehe... love you, insan!! 

**Isys** - hay, insan!!! will u stop with the "a dream is a wish your heart makes" line?! No, I DEFINITELY do NOT wish Ronell dead, though it wouldn't be so bad if I'd be there in his last moments as his life slowly ebbs away... *jumps to avoid slap* yes, yes, I knw I'm obsessed about him, that's why I have Kuya Brian!!! Settled na, me gonna invite him to the prom... nyerk, I'm too excited, I still have a year and 7 months to think about it... oh, and btw, thanks for unknowingly letting me use your idea... 

** celestinne** - Grabe! I was using our computer on the third floor, but the keyboard's not working again... probably because I collapsed over it... I had to go down to the first floor computer!!! And my parents took the lapto with them!!! Asar... Niway, may cel ka? Email mo sakn # m... 

** Lai** - Hehe... I never really listened in Filipino class... pero grade ko sa first exam namin 96%... uno... hirap sa pisay... 

(speaking of...) 

**pisaygurl...xd** - hu u?! Hindi ata sufficient enough clue yung xd... For all I know, ikaw c clsm8... or... you email me your # sa cel (kung meron ka)!! gamitin m either yung sa sendoh.zzn.com or ... 

**Pythia** - Thanks!! I'm glad you think so. Yes, I'm definitely going to write some more. As long as computer science class stays boring, along with social studies and... 

I'm in the middle of writing a SenRu, but as I was rereading it... I have a very strong feeling that I'll most likely end up changing the locations to Hogwarts, Gryffindor dormitory, Hogsmeade... and the characters to Draco, Harry, and blah blah blah... 

hehehehe... 


End file.
